Yay x4

Spent most of today adding to the decor in my part time classroom, visiting with former-now-new-again collegues, and visiting the local movie theatre, Staples, and toys R us for classroom supplies. I scored a Star Wars Clone poster from Toys R Us, and Toy Story and Ice Age from the cinema. My school is going through a "visit" (code for "evaluation") next week, and everyone is kind of anxious about everything not being completely perfect.

I was out until nearly 9, then went to pick up the boys at PaPa's. Hung out there and had my first bite to eat in more than 8 hours. Got lots of cuddles from my boy. He's my sunshine and blue skies.

Now I'm finally home, but I start work in the morning, so I have to make sure my stuff is ready to go, and that I'm mentally ready to get going in the morning. There are still logistics to be worked out, as I am finding out further duties that were not outlined when I signed the contract. But, it's a job, and that, in and of itself, is a thing I am thankful for. Can't wait to get paid, as I spent Jensen's birthday gift card and my last $20 in cash on school supplies and to put gas in the car.

Things are going to get easier.This Wednesday I have an interview for a second part time job with an after-school program in Harlem doing college prep with 9th and 10th graders.

I am still applying for other part time/flexible work to try and round out my week to close to 40 hours. The best part of doing it this way is that I'll still get to spend most of the day with Jensen, and should be home in time to put him to bed, too. Michael is looking into working night security, so with luck, he may be able to watch him while I'm gone, except for the hour or two when we're both traveling. So, work-yay, money-yay, face time with the Termite-yay, and finally, not having to pay for day care-yay.

Preparations

Already thinking about my move.

Talked to a realtor today, who is going to start an ongoing home search for me, so I have definite options when I'm ready to seriously look for a house.

Emailed a friend who works in mortgages to have her critique my credit report and tell me what I REALLY need to get a loan in the current economy and hopefully enlighten me to any specialty deals for teachers and/or first time homebuyers.

Spoke to a pet moving specialist about how much it's going to cost to get the critters cross-country. (Sheesh-it's a lot...but I've got 5, so what did I expect, right?)

Sent my email plea to another Grad Studies Dept head honcho, hoping to get back into school by Spring...

Accepted a part time teaching job at the school I worked at before. This time I'll be teaching computers. Hmm...facebook, twitter, blogging...have I covered everthing? :)

And finally, applied for 2 more part time jobs that I could do in addition to my new gig.

Whew. I'm tired.

Applications galore...kind of

I have started a real, honest to goodness, no holds barred job search.

It is harder than I thought.

Just the online ap for a part-time gig at Babies R Us took over an hour with their psych eval. No, I don't think all people are annoying, no, I'm not generally rude, and of course, I love working with others. :)

So far, besides that, I'm hoping for answers from Kaplan tutoring and Melissa and Doug, the awesome educational toy company. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but tailoring a cover letter for each company between paying attention to Jensen takes a lot of time.

I also took a little while and am nearly finished writing the thank-yous for his birthday, so at least there I am ahead of the game.

Here's hoping for good news soon!

On a totally different note, I saw the word "galore" spelled "galour" in a catalog I received today. That's someone's job I could have! Sheesh.

Finally, I am watching the new "Omen" tonight. By myself. Why? I. don't. know. Too scary. I normally don't watch anything like that, but tonight it was on and I left it on that channel.

It's over in a bit, then I'll go put on my favorite nearly ancient sleeping shirt that I love, then snuggle in next to my angelic boy so I don't have bad dreams. :)

Happy Birthday, Baby!

The boy turned 2 as of 11:11 this morning!

I ventured out of my comfort zone and made a half homemade birthday cake (meaning I made a mix). Yay for Momma!

Of course, that one is his 3rd birthday cake so far this week. We went upstate for the long weekend, where he was positively spoiled by all involved. Sandy made him a from-scratch carrot cake. He thought it was fantastic! She and Dawn and the boys got him a remote control car. That was great, because "car" is one of his favorite words!

Then, the next day, we met Gramma and Susan at a restaurant, where we had pizza, then went to the park for presents and another cake! He got a ton of puzzles, a great set of pretend food, and enough Black and Decker play tools to fill a whole tool box!

So far, it has been a great birthday week. It concludes with his NYC party this Sunday. My little boy is so big already. I can hardly believe it's been 2 years. He's such a little man, with so many bright ideas and opinons. I am so excited to see what he's going to do next!

Running fast

Over the last few weeks, there has been a lot of redirection for me. I have been thinking about what I want, what I need, and the same things in regards to Jensen.

So today, we did things he wanted and needed. Not that we hadn't done them before, but today I really put myself in the thoughtful place of making him the most happy without just needing to focus on when class was over or whether he was going to crawl under the table at the restaurant and sprint for the door (hey, it's happened....)

We had a fantastic momma/son day. We went to gym class, where he ran, and ran, and ran. He loves the rock climbing slope, and is so agile. It's hard for me to force him to wait his turn because, well, the other kids are....slow. But he does, and I know that eventually the simple habit of being patient will be a blessing for him.

Then we walked around the shopping center, with the intention of just taking a walk. Then we passed the diner where we've eaten many times. He took my hand and pulled me in the door as he shouted, "Nom!NOM!" (He speaks LOLcat....just so you know.) So I figured we should eat. He was such a gentleman. There was french toast, scrambled eggs and OJ, and he ate using his fork without any help. We were able to expertly time the meal so when he had finally decided it was time to slide down the bench and under the table, it actually WAS.

We continued our walk to the dollar store, where you can find Hot Wheels (normally 5 or 6 dollars-no, really) helium balloons, and birthday cards all for a mere dollar. After much shopping, and several sprints to keep him with me, he chose a balloon and....ahem, a fairy princess wand with lights and sound. That, instead of a SpiderMan pull n' go car. Well, okay then. It's not hurting anybody, so why not?

After we got home there was a great nap with me getting to watch a movie while he slept with my arm around him, then little boy nekkid time, and then pee on the floor, which led to the best reason to be nekkid...a great bubble bath.

He is now upstairs pounding away on his wooden tool bench, having a fantastic time. We have had a lot of great days, but it was really nice being able to be with him, just us, and not be stressing about him being grumpy or having to eat as fast as possible to make sure I actually got a bite. Today was a perfect combination of him becoming a bigger boy and me being able to simply enjoy that.

Tunnel vision

Sigh...things are not going as well as I'd like here.

Michael found out shortly before school started that his school eliminated the position he'd been asked to cover as a long-term sub. So, now there's no longer a real discussion on whether we can afford for me to stay home with Jensen or just work part time. Now, we have to race to get some money coming in, and whomever finds a full time job first, goes to work.

The idea of being back in Texas is prominent now. Reconnecting with some old friends and seeing the lower cost of living tells me that staying here just isn't the best decision anymore. I know it will be some time before I'm able to make the move, but it's not an "if" anymore-it's a "when."And honestly, I don't know when, but I am hoping it will be within the next year or so. I know I have to finish my degree, my teaching certs, save some money and hopefully find a job located there before I move.

When I originally got on a plane to move here back in 2002, I had an entirely different set of needs and desires. It was the right place to go at the right time. I have thought more than once that it wasn't an accident that I was here when Momma died. I needed to have a focus and a job that would keep me going.

But life is a lot different now, and it's not a job that keeps me going, it's my little boy.

I have learned a lot from living in New York, most importantly how to be self sufficient in one of the toughest places to be so. It is a lesson that I am grateful for, because not everyone learns it. I've gotten to go to museums and Broadway shows, and I loved it. But those days are farther and fewer in between because, well, it's harder when you have a baby. And when I realized that not only am I having to work so hard to make it here, and not getting to truly take advantage of what makes the city so great, it finally dawned on me that I am at a point where I need to make a choice to stay or go. And I choose to go.

With the decision being made made, I feel totally secure that it is the best choice. In many ways, it feels like my heart has already left.

Jensen is everything to me, and I want him to have a house, with a yard, and a neighborhood where we can walk to a friend's house. Unfortunately, that dream is not just a difficulty here, it is impossible. With the amount that gets taken out here for income taxes for both city and state, and the outrageous cost of housing, regular people can't qualify for a house anymore.

The next months will be focused on preparing for a new life: the light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to a place that holds new possibilities for me, based on the many differences in my life now. I am doubly fortunate that the place I want to go not only has opportunities, but happy memories, too. Most of all, I am happy that there will be a time, not so so far in the future, that Jensen and I will be able to have an extended family nearby. Out of everything, being able to have face to face contact with those dearest to me is what matters most.

More than a tweet

So, it has been a long time since a new post, but there hasn't been much more going on than you could read in a tweet, LOL! That hasn't changed, but I just felt more like writing without a character limit on my thoughts today.

We're gearing up for Jensen's second birthday. As a first time mom, I didn't know how much my baby would already NOT be a baby by his second birthday. He is beautiful, and it is still pointed out to me anywhere I take him. Most of the time I enjoy it, feel proud, and we move on. Strangely, at other times, it makes me anxious, because I wonder if he would be a target for some child abductor. Or if I allow myself to feel too good about him being so pretty, if I will be reprimanded by the universe and something bad will happen. I know, that sounds strange, but it's what's in my head. My solution is to try to allow myself to feel good about it, but make sure that with him, I focus on teaching him how to be the best person he can be. There's a possibility he might aways be judged first on how he looks, so I want to make sure that he's judged last on how he treats others.

He is showing more and more creativity, having his first experience with Play Doh yesterday. He is still figuring out what he'd like to do with it, mainly pulling it into little pieces because he's amazed it can come apart like that. He also feed it to his pet plastic giraffe, making little "nom" noises as the giraffe had a taste of red, a taste of blue....yum.

We've also been drawing a lot. He likes to color on his own, but even more, he likes to put the color in my hand and move my hand to draw. He'll even bring me paper and crayons so I'll color for him and he can watch.

He is really turning into a little boy now, rather than a baby. He definitely has his own opinions, and since he's nearly 2, most of his opinions are, "Mine!" and "Faster!" and "No!" But really, except for some totally random meltdowns here and there, he's such a good boy and we get along great.

As for me, I am still trying to get back into college. The Dean of Grad Studies has to approve my request to register, and that postition was changing employees when I contacted them and it seems my paperwork was lost in cyberland or never got to who needed to see it. So, I am trying again, this time to register in the Spring. If that works, I'll be finished by summer. We'll see.

I also am hoping to make my teaching video next week and put it aside so I can apply for Professional Certification as soon as my Master's is finished. Then I will have the ability to make an actual decision as to whether I'd like to continue to teach and if I do, where I would like to go.

I've been subbing at SRB for this week, and go again for the first few days of next week, but after that, I'll be needed a new job. Not sure why, but they don't plan on retaining subs for day-to-day work and so I won't be called unless there's an extended period of time when someone's out. I am already looking at job boards, and there actually is a lot of stuff that I'm qualified for. I just have to get going and start submitting letters and resumes and see what happens.

I guess that's about it....it's a gray, rainy day here, and the boys are out taking Grandpa's doggie to the vet, and I'm here my myself. There are tons of things I probably could be doing, but the weather is making me feel like getting the first cup of tea for the fall and snuggling up with a good movie or nice read before the guys come home.